Today, when many of us traverse in and out of companies and continents, the need to establish connections from business-related events and social settings is indispensable, but at personal events such as a wedding it can be hazardous.
Tact and discretion are absolutely key here. You are attending this wedding for a purpose. Engage your target with something pertaining specifically to the event — the reason you are both here. Make the conversation, your curiosity and excitement all about that event you are experiencing together. Look for points of connectivity with the other person through the prism of the event.
• Never ask for a business card — only at social events with a business undercurrent, such as charity auctions or softball tournaments, may cards be exchanged freely without concern of impropriety.
• Tell your target you have enjoyed meeting them and would like to stay in touch.
• Do not be one of those hangers on. Walk away!
• Ask your host — after the event — to connect you with the person of interest. Your host will no doubt delight knowing they were able to help forge a connection.
When you do follow up, mention the wedding; reference the connector. Remember, it's not about the business, it's about the connection.
Keep initial contact brief and reflective back to the event you both attended, with personal notes about where you met, where you shared the fact that you both always cry at weddings, where you enjoyed the beautiful music, admired the imported flowers, or laughed at the hysterical toasts. The wedding is your common denominator. Only then, explore business interests.
Underscore what's in it for them. Determine their receptivity level and proceed accordingly. If not, you'll always have Paris!
If you merely exchange contact information, subtly and quickly, by smartphone, you risk losing the opportunity to engage and connect on all the above points of confluence.
Judith Bowman is president and founder of Protocol Consultants International and author of "Don't Take the Last Donut: New Rules of Business Etiquette" and "How to Stand Apart @ Work … Transforming "Fine" to Fabulous!" Email her at Judith@protocolconsultants.com.
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